Showing only Notes + Links tagged things that make me laugh
The Faces Behind the Famous Hands | The Big Money
Ellen Sirot has been in the hand-modeling business for 20 years. She has worked on countless campaigns selling just about everything from nail polish to pregnancy tests. Recently, she has jumped on new opportunities in tech advertising, such as this Verizon (VZ) campaign. While some models don’t bother to baby their hands, Sirot insists on it. She wears gloves all the time and has even developed her own line of hand cream to keep them moisturized.
Oh, no.
My major praise for the exhibition is the extraordinary installation of highly aggressive works, each of which would probably prefer to be all alone in the room—if not in the universe.Peter Schjeldahl — The Dakis Joannou collection, The New Yorker
Around 13 Billion Years Ago, the comments on things that I post on the internet were contained in a tiny ball that could fit in the palm of your hand.
A couple of weeks ago the American Museum of Natural History (@atAMNH) tweeted:

I copied this into my notebook, as I sometimes do with weird little facts and phrases that I like, and also posted an inverted (space!) version on my Tumblr and Flickr.

There it sat in relative obscurity for the next few weeks, but today when I was checking my Flickr it reported a pretty big spike in views of this image tracing back to Tumblr.

It turns out that a Tumblr user named Blua who “doesn’t want to be famous on the internet” accidentally made me kind of famous on the internet by setting the ball rolling on over 700 likes and reblogs of my silly notebook page. Anyway, what I wanted to point out is how freaking hilarious some of the comments are—as in, they actually made me laugh out loud.
The fatalist:
*a tiny ball that could fit in the palm of your hand [whose gravitational field was so strong it would suck you in at a infinitely violent speed, rip your frail body apart, and most likely turn you into some inhuman matter after the big bang]. —insertironicsentiment
The realist:
except for, wouldn’t you also be in that ball? —auntumnwake
The romantic:
If i had that ball, i’d wrap it in ribbons and bows and give it to you. —richpickings
The skeptic:
no, i’m sure it wasn’t. —dvndvy
The evolution evangelist:
So really, I love this. I think the universe is so amazing and cool. It’s even more amazing that all these seemingly coincidence atoms created us! I honestly cannot understand why religious people don’t believe in evolution. Where did Cain’s wife come from, huhhh? Scientists often say that learning more of the universe makes them believe in God even more. And that’s true. The universe is such an awesome spectacular place. Full of mystery and some explainable phenomena. I can’t even contain how cool it is. :] —justlikeamy
The Quantum Mechanical theorist:
& then the ” Big Bang ” happened & what is holding the universe from expanding is called Dark Matter. —kdgutierrez
The teenage girl:
amazingggggggggggggggggg <3 —taniaa
Not even sure what to make of this one:
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state haha love the Big Bang theory :) —need-want-love
Echoing my sentiments:
This is somehow inspiring to me. —nikkiraffail
The Machiavellian:
i guess thats pretty cool… i could be the master of universe… woah :D —lehani
The pessimist:
now is just giant complicated shitness —reitarawrs
Thank you, internet. Have I mentioned how ridiculous and great I think you are?
Why You Should Buy Art by William Powhida
Just ordered this, but—not gonna lie—it took me a few minutes to decide whether or not buying it would be hypocritical.
Writers always envy artists, would trade places with them in a moment if they could. The painter’s life seems less ascetic, less monkish, less hunched. Instead of the austere mess of the desk there is the chaos of the studio: dirty coffee cups, paint-smudged cassette decks, drawings of the artist’s girlfriend, naked, on the walls … In the age of the computer the writer’s office or study will increasingly resemble the customer service desk of an ailing small business. The artist’s studio, though, is still what it has always been: an erotic space. For the writer the artist’s studio is, essentially, a place where women undress.Geoff Dyer, Out of Sheer Rage (via erasing.org)
I’ve been banned for life from Pearl Paint for shoplifting, and I can’t complete my graduate degree without access to the store,” she explained breathlessly to Waters after the lecture. A long line of students waiting to get his signature behind her already seemed impatient. “Can you write me a letter explaining that I’m rehabilitated?” A slight pause…”Are you going to do it again?” asked Waters. “No,” she replied. “Sure.” He shrugged his shoulders and wrote his letter on the program press release.
Paddy Johnson — Art Fag City » The Undetermined Influence of John Waters Over Pearl Paint Employees
This story is kind of awesome. I too have a love/hate relationship with Pearl, the famous art supply stores that are in danger of closing up shop across the country.
Sky Mall Kitties by Nina Katchadourian
I didn’t think I could like Nina Katchadourian more than I already did. Then I saw Sky Mall Kitties.
(via maniacalrage)
Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy
(via swissmiss)
See also: Why Are You So Terribly Disappointing? by Mark Morford
What happened to my bonus? What happened to my job? What happened to my country? Why can’t it all go the way it’s supposed to go? You mean having a kid won’t solve my marriage problems? Why don’t these drugs make me feel better? Where’s that goddamn waiter with my salad? Have you seen the stupid weather today? Is this really all there is?
These are, from what I can glean, the most important questions of the day, of the month, of modern life itself. Hell, what with the economy and job situation, the housing market and the overall feel and texture of the nation right now, it’s no wonder Americans are, by and large, a goddamn miserable bunch. We don’t like anything right now. No politician, no decision, no situation, no inhale, no exhale. We are sick to death of all of it, including ourselves.
This story sounded suspiciously wiki.” The obvious colloquial analogue would be “the story seemed fishy.” But note the distinction. A “fishy” story, like a “fish story,” is a farfetched story that is probably a lie or exaggeration that in some way redounds to the teller’s benefit. A “wiki” story, on the other hand, is a story, perhaps farfetched, that is probably backed up by no authority other than a Wikipedia article, or perhaps just a random web site. The only advantage it yields to the user is that one appears knowledgeable while having done only the absolute minimum amount of research.
I dunno… seems a little “wiki” « Snarkmarket
Sometimes I love new words.
Jenny Holzer Temporary Tattoo Set
Some of the font choices are questionable but I totally want these Jenny Holzer temp tattoos anyway!
The Whitney Museum’s Jenny Holzer Temporary Tattoos were produced for the exhibition Jenny Holzer: PROTECT PROTECT in collaboration with the artist’s studio. Designed using select tattoo fonts by Whitney designers, the 12 text pieces were chosen from Holzer’s Survival series and produced in a print run of 200 by Temptu, a professional cosmetic firm in NYC. Laid out on a single sheet of transfer paper, they are as collectible as Holzer’s pieces of printed ephemera, such as her early sticker and newsprint projects.
Coral in the Shape of Connie Chung, 2006, by Jeffrey Vallance
Mixed media
(via Tanya Bonakdar Gallery)
For me and most of the other writers I know, writing is not rapturous. In fact, the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts.
The first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later. You just let this childlike part of you channel whatever voices and visions come through and onto the page. If one of the characters wants to say, “Well, so what, Mr. Poopy Pants?,” you let her. No one is going to see it. If the kid wants to get into really sentimental, weepy, emotional territory, you let him. Just get it all down on paper, because there may be something great in those six crazy pages that you would never have gotten to by more rational, grown-up means. There may be something in the very last line of the very last paragraph on page six that you just love, that is so beautiful or wild that you now know what you’re supposed to be writing about, more or less, or in what direction you might go – but there was no way to get to this without first getting through the first five and a half pages.
Anne Lamot on shitty first drafts
I just realized I own this book but haven’t read too much of it, now I’m psyched for it again!
(via Merlin)